tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58237660480264543412024-03-18T20:19:15.562-07:00Thoughts On Becoming a Grown UpAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-62501825233453295392017-06-10T20:48:00.001-07:002017-06-10T20:48:23.158-07:00Lost and Not Alone<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hate being anxious.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hate the feeling of never knowing what to say and worrying
constantly about figuring it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
avoid calling anyone because I never know what I’m going to say on the phone or
how I will know the conversation has run its course or how to extricate myself
from the call when it does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t call
people, even people I’ve known for years, to go to lunch or have coffee because
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can’t face the possible awkwardness of staring at each other with nothing to
say. I rely heavily, very heavily, on my more extroverted friends to make
plans and bring me along. I am incredibly lucky to have such friends and I treasure them dearly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When it was just me, the worst consequence of this was that
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more socially adept that I will ever be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She made friends easily and seemed to always be the person in charge of
making the plans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My role was largely to
chaperone and chauffeur them around, a role I was perfectly comfortable in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But my son needs more from me. As I watch him
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</span>I worry frequently that my inability to socialize appropriately has
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stricken at the idea of calling another parent to arrange play dates and get togethers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What will we do? What will we
talk about?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if they say no?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if they say yes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paralyzed, I rely on organized activities
like sports for opportunities for social interactions for him and try to
convince myself that these will suffice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So my fears prevent him from having more one on one interactions which
makes it harder for him to learn social interactions, which isolates him even
more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watch his friends arrange
play dates and sleep overs and movie outings together and know I am failing him
horribly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">I don't have an answer or an uplifting ending. Sometimes, you just keep moving.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-5984099469088190662014-08-22T06:35:00.002-07:002014-08-22T06:40:12.040-07:00Ready to Fly...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
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</xml><![endif]-->It was never supposed to end like this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was never supposed to BE like this. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Brendan wasn’t supposed to go to ABC at Grays
Woods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Several friends had highly
recommended ABC to us and we set out to enroll him (actually, we didn’t even
know he was a “him” yet) at the University Drive center where their kids
went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we called to ask for a tour
and to possibly enroll this child-to-be-named-later, we were told that there
wouldn’t be any openings at University Drive in August of 2009 (did I mention
that we didn’t even know his sex yet???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Clue #1 that we were in the right place—very long waiting list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> : ) </span>). We were told that the Grays Woods center had space open and he could start
there and move over to University Drive when space opened up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were gracious enough to give us a tour
of both centers and introduce us to the staff at both places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We loved how bright and cheerful and happy
the Grays Woods center seemed and we figured he’d be fine there for a few weeks
until space opened up for him at the center closer to our house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We filled out the registration form (which
said “Baby Riggle” at the time) and crossed that item off the “to worry about”
list.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Little did we know that neither University Drive nor “fine”
were in the cards for us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We dropped our Little Tigger off on his first day at the
tender age of 12 weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He never cried a
bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cried. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Matt cried.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bren was happy as a clam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For 5
solid years, Bren was happy as a clam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In all that time, I can count on both hands the number of days he ever
cried being dropped off, and one of those was because he fell and cut his lip
just as I was about to leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By
November it was clear that he was attached to his caregivers and the others at
ABC and we decided that we would decline a space at the closer center if one
came up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wouldn’t you know it; Amy contacted us the next day to tell
us a space had opened up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We looked at
each other and chuckled before turning it down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We never looked back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be
honest, until this week we had forgotten that we ever wanted him to be anywhere
else.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In 5 years, he learned to sit up and crawl, walk and run,
talk and (sort of) listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He learned to
play with the other kids and learned to make friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We made friends, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We stood side by side with other parents wrestling
cranky infants into winter clothes they didn’t want to wear and into car seats
they didn’t want to be buckled into.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
puzzled together over the evening we picked them up looking perfectly normal,
only to find blue and purple bellies under their shirts at bathtime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hung identical hand print artwork in our
kitchens and admired each other’s displays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The staff and parents at ABC became our friends and our
extended family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They worried with us
over a string of ear infections that threatened Bren’s hearing, over the
surgery for his magical ear tubes that eliminated the problem overnight, over
the puzzling behaviors that heralded the onset of his ADHD.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They reassured us after Moore, OK that they
had a disaster plan in place if a storm threatened this bright and airy
school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They reassured us after Newtown
that they were reviewing already strict safety protocols and that they had
given extra hugs and kisses to each of our little ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Best and worst of all, they worked with us,
talked with us, mourned with us, and raged with us after the terrible events of
fall 2011 and their fallout hit very close to home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They helped us find age appropriate ways to
talk to our kids about the storm swirling around their community and they
reassured us that they were watching closely for any signs of trauma or
distress in our kids. They were always, always looking out for all of us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For 5 solid years, Bren was so well loved and cared for,
that when it came time to register him for kindergarten, we worried about the
impact of him leaving this safe and cozy nest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We were so worried, that we even asked the school district to move him
to the school closer to the center so he could stay there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The moment the decision was made, we knew it
was the wrong one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was scared for him
to go out on his own, and, if I’m perfectly honest, I was scared for me. What
would I do without these wonderful people to help look out for my little
guy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What would I do without these
wonderful people around ME?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My fear of
him leaving was as much about me as it was about him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Slowly, we recognized that fear is a terrible
way to start a future so we took a deep breath and moved him back to the school
in our neighborhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We got ready to
move him out of ABC.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So today is the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s the last day for our not-so-little-anymore Bren in the cozy, happy,
safe nest made for him at ABC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next week
he and all his classmates will take off for Kindergarten, scattered all over
the district.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The best gift we got from
ABC was knowing that we won’t be the only ones standing back watching them fly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We love you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will <u>always</u> be part of
our family!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-20543838650725966142013-04-12T18:04:00.000-07:002013-04-12T18:06:00.179-07:00An Hour of "Yes."<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
My 3.5 year old son is going through a defiant streak this
week (oh God, please let it just be for this week!) where he is just out of
sorts and unhappy with the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can
sympathize.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>been the kind of week when I just want to
howl at the world until it bends to my will, or at least allows me to take a
nap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Tonight, while his father made
dinner, I decided that he and I would go for a walk to try to, as a friend’s
mother puts it, “Blow the stink off of him.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As we left the house and walked down the drive, he pointed to the right
and said “Let’s go this way?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, why
not?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I agreed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A block later, we came to the first
intersection and he pointed straight ahead. “Let's go this way?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, I nodded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, if we could walk on the side of the
road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He happily complied.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Within a few yards, we came to a point where we needed to
either turn around,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>take a path through
the back side of a parking lot, or head toward the main road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sidewalk for the main road picks up here,
so when my son pointed toward the highway and said “Can we keep going?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I agreed, as long as we walked on the
sidewalk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He nodded agreeably and veered
to the walk.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ten minutes of not hearing the word “No,” and some much needed
fresh air, had magically transformed him back into his sunny, agreeable
self.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided that for the remainder
of the hour, so long as it was reasonable, I wouldn’t say “No.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We walked out to the highway and I let him
pick which direction we turned. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
giving it some serious consideration, he turned thoughtfully to the right and
pointed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We headed north up the
sidewalk, passing an auto repair shop with a display of tires outside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He reached out his hand, clearly thought
about this action, and looked back at me expectantly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I want to touch the tires,” he explained. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay,” I agreed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
ran his hand over the tread of one and then slapped his hand against it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s hard!” he exclaimed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I concurred.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They need to be
hard, they hold up the whole car on the road!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We don’t throw wheels in the house.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We don’t throw anything in the house,” I amended “except
the occasional pillow.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He giggled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We walked a little further on and came to a
sign pole that he reached out and smacked his hand against. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t touch the sign,” he said, clearly expecting a
reprimand.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You can touch that one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s pretty tough.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He nodded,
considering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We walked along, chatting
about the cars going by, and in another block, he asked to walk in the grass,
pointing to the space between a bank and the sidewalk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I agreed, and we wandered through the grassy
space, cutting across the corner to the next street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we passed the bank, he pointed to the door
and announced “I want to go in the door.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hmmm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By now I was committed to
not saying “no” if I didn’t have to, but it was after 6:00, dinner was about
ready at home, and we were clearly not going into the bank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I considered for a moment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Honey, the bank is closed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They locked the doors for the night.” I explained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He thought this over for a moment, and then
nodded as we continued on our way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As we
turned the corner toward home, he bent to pick up a pine cone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My first instinct was to scold him to put it
down, but I waited a heartbeat or two to think it over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was going to have to wash his hands before
dinner anyway; what could the pinecone hurt?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I ignored it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few feet later,
he bent to inspect a much more bedraggled specimen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As he bent to pick it up, I opened my mouth
to say “No!” but what came out was “Honey, that one’s really muddy and
dirty.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He poked it with his finger and
wrinkled his nose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ick!” he exclaimed, giggling, and walked away from the
muddy cone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I want some milk!” He announced a few seconds later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I nodded.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ok, but we need to go home for that.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I agreed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s go
home.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And off we set.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As we approached our own drive, he insisted
we turn another direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of
saying no, dinner was about ready, I reminded him that he had asked for milk.
He immediately struck out toward the front door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After I shepherded him into the bathroom to
wash his hands and back to the table, he turned to me and asked hopefully,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Can we go for a walk again?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assured him that tomorrow, we would do
just that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not saying “no” for that hour taught me a lesson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s unrealistic, and unwise, to never say
“No” to a child, and if he had asked for something unreasonable or unsafe, the
answer would indeed have been a firm “No!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As we left the house, I had reminded him that he needed to hold my hand
the whole time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He never once objected,
or I would have had to say no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s my
job—to keep him safe and teach him to follow the rules.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But sometimes I say no, as all parents do, because it’s the
easy answer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because it’s what we think
we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should</i> say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we left the driveway, I had intended to
turn left, and if I had been distracted or annoyed, I might have said “no” when
he asked to go to the right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he
asked to walk in the grass or touch the tires, I might have said “no” out of
habit because these were not our yard or his things, but there was no harm in
saying “yes.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those tires were destined
to far tougher treatment than the pat of a 3 year old boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That grass had probably never been trod on by
more than a handful of humans before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Deciding I wasn’t going to say “no” prompted me to consider these things
before giving him an answer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It forced
me to think of a different response to the bank door; one that allowed him to
puzzle over the locked door and come to the “no” of it on his own—a critical
thinking lesson on an evening walk around the neighborhood.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
No one likes to feel as though their life is beyond their
control, but when you’re three, the whole universe is often beyond your
control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of that is by necessity,
but it doesn’t always have to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
could be more thoughtful in my answers and give him the chance to come to the
“no” on his own, by his choice, some of the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I model thinking over my responses before
I give them, he might just learn to do the same.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-59265857365212726882013-02-19T08:45:00.000-08:002013-02-19T08:45:29.780-08:00Speeding Toward Reason<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I think we should do away with speed limits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I wasn’t late for work this morning and
no, I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket in many, many years. It strikes me,
though, that speed limits only serve to make law abiding citizen drive within
the posted limits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Criminals and scofflaws
just speed on their merry way, content in the knowledge that they’re not all
that likely to get caught.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a warped
little bit of circular reasoning, I’ll grant you that, but it follows exactly
the same line of reasoning the most vocal arguments against any kind of sane
gun control use: criminals break the law, so we shouldn’t have one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Outside the context of gun control, it’s a mystifying
loop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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By definition, laws only prevent law abiding citizens from
breaking them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once you break the law,
you are no longer law abiding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve
crossed the line into criminal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
categorically true whether the law you’re breaking is driving 100 mph on the
freeway or buying an assault rifle, but we only use the assault rifle buying as
grounds to invalidate the law.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only for
gun control do we argue that since people will break the law anyway, no law
should exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gun control opponents like
to point to the end of prohibition and the legalization/ decriminalization
movement for marijuana as support for this faulty logic, but those cases are
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Contrary to popular opinion, the Volstead Act was not
repealed because people continued to drink alcohol (although they surely
did).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prohibition was repealed for
reasons that were almost exclusively financial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The federal government was close to broke and desperately needed the tax
revenue that the sale of alcohol provided.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Good bye, temperance movement; hello, Budweiser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Similarly, the current trend toward the
legalization of medical marijuana use and the smaller movement toward the
decriminalization of casual marijuana use is one of those rare and wonderful
instances where science and common sense have moved the legislative process—at least
on a local and state level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is
solid scientific evidence that marijuana can be useful in the treatment of a
number of medical disorders, and no compelling evidence that its use is more
dangerous than that of tobacco or alcohol.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>From a pharmacological stand point, the addiction liability for marijuana
is far lower than that of alcohol and tobacco. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marijuana users are almost never violent; to
the contrary, they’re usually quite docile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They pose very little risk to anyone’s well-being other than their
own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It makes little economic sense to spend millions
of dollars locking people up to protect them from their own folly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would make as much sense, economically, to
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The argument that we should not enact laws because criminals
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</span>There may be reasonable arguments against gun control legislation; the
fact that I have yet to hear one doesn’t mean they don’t exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone may be able to do better than
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the noisiest segment
perpetuates a groundless argument, it drowns out reasonable debate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The victims of senseless tragedies in Aurora,
Littleton, Newtown and countless others deserve a better effort than this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If this is the best argument that can be
made, perhaps it’s time to think hard about why.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-63906933219763548102012-11-06T10:05:00.001-08:002012-11-06T10:05:53.187-08:00With Gratitude<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I love the coincidence of timing that places Election Day in
the month when we devote ourselves to being grateful for what we have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today I am grateful that I live in a country
where voting is, at worst, an inconvenience, and usually not even that. I live
in a place where I can vote on my way to or from work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My poll is in my neighborhood, in a safe
location, and indoors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It opened early
this morning and will be open tonight as I am trying to herd my son into
bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I go at a peak voting time, I
will wait outside in the cold for, at most, 15 minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Polite, quietly spoken people, some of whom
are my neighbors, will offer me glossy pamphlets, book marks, and nail files in
a last minute plea for me to consider voting for the candidate they support. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will smile kindly and thank me whether I
take the proffered items or not. It will take a small fraction of my day, and
in return I will be given a sticker proclaiming that I have fulfilled my duty
as a citizen and several area businesses will reward me with coffee or dessert
for wearing my badge of participation.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I live in a country where I will not be harassed or
assaulted for trying to exercise my right to be counted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will not risk my health or safety to get to
my polling place or to wait there for my turn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I will not wait for hours on end for my chance to be heard. I will not
be dragged out of line or followed home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No one will harass or threaten my children in an effort to keep me from
voting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one will intimidate me in
order to sway my vote. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The most
threatening thing that will be offered to me will be the ubiquitous nail
file.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will not even have to dirty my
hands to stamp my thumbprint in ink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
process, for all that we like to complain about how contentious politics have
become, is remarkably civilized.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And perhaps that is the problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our voting process is so civilized, so
simple, so easy that we have left taking it for granted in the dust long
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, we see it as a terrible
imposition; something to be endured or avoided, like going to the dentist or
getting our tires rotated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a
hassle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have forgotten that people
fought and died, and will continue to fight and die, to allow us the opportunity
to express our opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have
forgotten that the rights we cherish and demand be honored—free speech, gun
ownership, equal protection under the law—come at the cost of our participation
in the process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We trade a few moments
of our time on one day a year for the rights and privileges of citizenship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a bargain a thousand times over and one
for which we should be grateful.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-15702533116946747732012-08-08T18:08:00.001-07:002012-08-08T18:14:47.981-07:00Give Me Liberty.... and a side of fries<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"> I’m going to let people in on a deep, dark secret.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like chicken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t hate it; I just don’t care much for it for a whole bunch of reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do like coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very, very much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So the odds of me visiting Starbucks and not Chick-Fil-A on any given day are very high and have nothing to do with politics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that light, I think there are a couple of things folks on both sides should consider before everyone just sits down and shuts up already.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> </span></span></div><ol><li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Yes, you have the right to express your opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You, I, and everyone else in this country has the spectacular right to say whatever idiotic thing comes into our heads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s what makes reality TV and 24 hour cable news networks possible (think about it—if people didn’t have the right to say stupid, mean, or obnoxious things, no one would watch either one of these programming formats).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are allowed to say whatever profound, profoundly ignorant, mean, kind, or flat out wrong thing you want without—and here’s the important point—fear of government interference or reprisal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You cannot be prevented from speaking your mind, except under very specific circumstances that would endanger others’ lives (fire in a crowded theater, for example) and the government cannot punish you for doing so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is why it’s legal to say horrible things about the President and why it’s still legal (and should remain so) to say you were a veteran if you weren’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stupid? Absolutely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wrong? You bet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But illegal?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As one member of my family likes to say “It’s not against the law to be an idiot.” In that respect, the mayors of cities who threatened to block Chick-Fil-A from opening in their cities were wrong, and should have known they were wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are bound by law to tolerate the Klan rallies, the Occupy movement, and Chick-Fil-A.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s what allows me the freedom to say publically I don’t like any of them.</li>
<li>Freedom of speech does NOT guarantee you freedom from others disagreeing with you, or freedom from reaction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This seems to be the part where the wheels fall off the wagon for many people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have the right to say that you do not agree with businesses who serve shrimp because you take a Biblical view on dietary restrictions (look it up, I’ll wait). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This in no way guarantees that shrimp cocktail lovers will not unite in outrage and stage an eat-in at their local Red Lobster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have the right to disagree with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vehemently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And act on that disagreement, possibly with clever signs and annoying chants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one has prevented you from saying what you think, feel, or believe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You still got to speak your mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now they get to speak theirs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s how it works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Isn’t it great???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this light, everyone screaming about Dan Cathay and how he’s being picked on for expressing his opinion and how oppressed he is, is wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s not oppressed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said what he thinks. Good for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now the rest of the country is allowed to say what they think, even if what they think is that he’s a mean-spirited fool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The government can’t arrest him for saying what he believes, nor can they tell him he can’t open any more stores, but I CAN say my family and I won’t be eating there anymore if I want and that’s not infringing on his rights at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which brings me to my next point…<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Money is speech.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Supreme Court said so (again, look it up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll wait), which means that boycotts or “appreciation days” are themselves free speech.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All those people lined up last week to buy a mediocre chicken sandwich were exercising their right to show their opinion by voting with their wallets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fair enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t get to cry about it when another group of people decides they do not want to spend their hard earned money on a mediocre chicken sandwich from someone who doesn’t like people who don’t feel like he does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, you can cry about it, but you kinda lose all credibility if you do.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> </span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>There is no guaranteed right that you will never be offended by other people. In fact, in a society where every single person is guaranteed the right to say whatever fool thought crosses their mind, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be offended at some point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You won’t like everything everybody says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know what’s cool, though?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have the right to not listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your tv changes channels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your computer has an off switch (honest, I swear it does!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your radio has a dial (or at least buttons).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have trouble understanding this concept, I know a room full of 3 year olds who would be more than happy to demonstrate this particular skill to you.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>“Free speech” and “hate speech” are not mutually exclusive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Internet memes are, almost by definition, annoying, but perhaps the most annoying one to stem from the whole chicken debacle is the one that goes to the tune of “how-come-what-you-say-is-free-speech-what-I-say-is-hate?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is possible for speech to be both protected and hateful; see the aforementioned Klan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, it might be the one and only quasi-respectable thing about the Klan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They aren’t running around whining “You can’t say we encourage hate; that’s infringes on our rights!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead their attitude is an almost refreshingly honest “Damn Skippy we hate you and everyone else who isn’t us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Deal.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hateful speech is usually the speech that is most in need of protection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one wants to stop you from saying “Puppies are fuzzy and cute!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re feeling defensive about this, it might be worth considering the following:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if Mr. Cathay had expressed his agreement with the Biblical instructions on selling his children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or sleeping with your brother’s widow?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or keeping concubines?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would anyone be so quick to rush to his defense then?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those opinions would be equally protected, even if none of us would care much for them.</li>
</ol><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">It’s well within your rights to adhere to an unpopular, unkind, or unpleasant opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The right exists to protect just such opinions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have the right to be offensive; and everyone else has the right to let you know that you’ve succeeded.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">Now, if you want a chicken sandwich, go get a chicken sandwich.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Me, I think I could use a cup of coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And maybe some shrimp.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-10420004937696669552012-07-17T14:31:00.000-07:002012-07-17T14:31:58.518-07:00No Act of Ours<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">Walking to my office this morning, I once again marveled at the fact that the set up for the Central Pennsylvania Festival of the Arts took well over a week to put up, but has been mostly torn down over the last 24 hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a metaphor with which no one here needs to be beaten over the head.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Since the release last Thursday of the Freeh Report on the institutional failings that lead to the Sandusky scandal, there has been increasing clamor for the NCAA to institute what has become known as “the death penalty;” that is, shutting down the football program for one year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The argument goes something like this:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the NCAA has acted to sanction programs in which student athletes have been caught selling things or accepting payments or gifts and those are laughably small crimes compared to this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s true; they are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The logic of this argument, though, fails because in those programs, the crimes (small though they may be) were directly connected with the football program itself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about it like this: if “Coach” Sandusky had instead been “Professor” Sandusky and a faculty member in the engineering program, it’s hard to imagine that anyone would be calling for the engineering program to be completely dismantled.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Only NPR (so far) has had the sense to point out that the NCAA is not, in fact, a law enforcement agency.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of the four men implicated by the Freeh Report, not one of them is currently involved with the football program.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only two members of the football program staff remain from Paterno’s tenure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless you’re part of the lunatic fringe that genuinely believes that anyone who is a student, employee, or alumnus of the university, ever was a student or employee, anyone who has ever been to a Penn State football game, has driven through State College on a football weekend, or even wandered through the tv section of your local Best Buy on a Saturday afternoon in October MUST have known this happened and is therefore guilty as sin, there is no credible evidence that either of these men knew anything about Sandusky’s crimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any effect closing down the football program might have on the university will be completely lost on the men accused of coving up for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my heart of hearts, I think what sticks in the craw of the NCAA most is that the one person they truly wish to punish had the audacity to die in January, putting him completely and forever out of their reach.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Nor will stopping football have an enormous impact on most of us who currently work here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will make me sad to see the football program I have loved since childhood go dark, but it will really only alter what I do for a couple of hours on a handful of Saturday afternoons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my house, the person it will impact most will be my three year old son, who loves PSU football and understands none of this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s resilient, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’ll find other things to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This will be true in most households.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have children to raise, bills to pay, and work to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life will go on.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let’s talk about the people who really will be hurt by this course of action:</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>The student football players.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, the argument has been that those here on football scholarships should keep them and still go to school, and that’s the most important thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s no denying, though, that these kids came here to get to play football and do it in front of a national audience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of them have aspirations of being professional players, and the way to get to do that is to get to play in front of crowds, journalists, recruiters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Closing the program gives them one less year to do that. It’s hard to argue that this is a fitting punishment for young men who were in elementary school or younger in 1998; kids who are younger, mostly, than Sandusky’s victims.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>The students in the Blue Band and the Cheerleaders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Blue Band isn’t a show competition band. They play a small number of performances outside of the halftime football show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cheerleaders do compete, but most of their appearances are tied to the football games, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These kids get to travel and perform in front of national audiences because their activities are tied to the football program.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, only the loonies screaming for those security tapes from Best Buy could attempt to argue that these young people deserve to be punished.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>The stadium staff/employees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A small army of people work in Beaver Stadium on football weekends; many of them as part time workers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For a number of people in the community, working parking, security, concessions, sales, or assistance is the second job that helps put food on the table and pay mortgages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For many students, it helps pay for housing, tuition, and books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s unclear to me what the young woman selling Diet Pepsi at the concession stand has done to deserve to lose her job.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Much of the local economy depends on the income from football weekends to sustain its workforce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This includes locally owned restaurants, shops, and hotels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of the people employed by these businesses have no affiliation with the university at all.</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Aside from all of these people, though, there is another compelling reason why the NCAA should step aside here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The NCAA intervening in a criminal case that isn’t actually about football sends a message, but not the one that everyone screaming for blood hopes it will be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What an NCAA sanction says is that football is SO important to the school that ONLY sanctions from the athletic governing body can truly set things right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about this for a moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What the NCAA is (inadvertently?) saying is that athletics are paramount and that until they’ve had the chance to mete out justice, justice can’t possibly be done.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There are a number of people who will argue that the world is not fair and that if some of these folks suffer as collateral damage in an effort to punish those responsible at Penn State, then so be it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If this were actually an athletic scandal involving the football team as central players, I would agree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have yet to hear a reasonable argument for why this sanction should be meted out other than “It’s just The Right Thing To do.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven’t yet heard who it’s right for; who it will help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And here is, perhaps, the biggest risk in NCAA sanctions, at least to the NCAA and others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the program “goes dark” for a year, a year from now what you will find is that the university is still standing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There will still be intercollegiate and intra-collegiate athletics going on. There will still be faculty doing nationally and internationally renowned research and teaching. There will still be wonderful staff working hard to make life better for all of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there will still be students getting a world class education and doing the most incredible, amazing, selfless things to improve the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will all still be here, doing our jobs and living our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Because to us, it was never really about football.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was only ever about football to everyone else.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-54961193391993909072012-06-28T11:47:00.000-07:002012-06-28T11:47:22.059-07:00Legally Despicable<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">Today the Supreme Court struck down what has been called the Stolen Valor Law—an act that would make it illegal to claim to have received a military honor you did not, in fact, receive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The name itself is a bit of a misnomer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not clear to me how valor can be stolen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband is a veteran or the US Air Force.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can think of no plausible way that someone else claiming, falsely or not, to have been decorated in combat takes away his valiant service.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aside from the name, though, I am not at all sure how I feel about this decision.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">On a personal level, I think anyone who has the audacity to lie about military service has, at the very least, some extended accommodations awaiting them in Purgatory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It falls under a class of behavior that makes you a sorry excuse for a human being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Included in that class would be telling children there is no Santa and cheating on your dying wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These things make you despicable, to be sure, but I’m not convinced they should make you a criminal.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In general, I am opposed to making it illegal to say things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those efforts usually start out well intentioned and end with people like Joe McCarthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The one broad exception to this would be saying things that are completely untrue IF that dishonesty could potentially cause demonstrable harm to someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, it is not difficult to foresee how someone could be caused serious harm or injury if I were to waltz into my local ER and pretend to be a medical doctor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That should be a crime, and it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s called fraud.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If someone were to claim military service to collect a military pension, educational benefits, or VA medical services, then that would potentially cause harm by stealing services that you had not rightfully earned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That would also be fraud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any potential, serious harm that could be caused by someone falsely claiming military service or honor would be covered by existing laws.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being an awful person is not illegal, but does carry certain social sanctions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These social sanctions are often more effective in controlling or altering behaviors than any legal sanctions ever could be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My neighbors and I don’t have to meet any burden of proof to not talk to you at the neighborhood picnic; we just simply don’t have to talk to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What will stop me from claiming to my friends and neighbors that I have served in the military when I did not will be the same pressure that keeps me from claiming that I invented Post-Its, toured with The Bangles, caught a 40 lb. mackerel, or starred in an off-Broadway production of Oklahoma:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my friends and neighbors can easily find out the truth, and when they do I will be shunned and ridiculed.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Telling my neighbor I served in Iraq when I did not makes me contemptible, but it does nothing to negate or detract from the dedicated, selfless service of those men and women who did actually serve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Making it a crime, ironically, does chip away at one of the freedoms that they pledged their lives to defend.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-85637991383785450662012-05-05T18:39:00.000-07:002012-05-05T18:39:25.325-07:00Pomp, Circumstance, and Strange Shoe Choices<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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This weekend is Graduation Weekend here in Happy
Valley.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ceremonies over these three
days mark the culmination of an academic year that started with an earthquake
and lead to, in some ways, the end of our world as we knew it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here are just a few of my somewhat random
thoughts about this year’s graduation:</div>
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<br /></div>
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1. I noticed something for the first time today that, once I
saw it, I wondered why no one had ever done before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three resourceful families were tailgating
graduation--one complete with canopy, plastic wine glasses, and champagne!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Genius!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You're going to be stuck there for a good while, you might was well
start celebrating instead of complaining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>:)</div>
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<br /></div>
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2. I think I may have underestimated one of my male students
all this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today under his blue
graduation gown, he had on a bright kelly green shirt with a very, very loud
pink tie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was one of two boys not
wearing a white shirt and blue tie or blue shirt and gray tie (the other was
wearing a gray t-shirt and rumpled jeans and looked as though he rolled out of
bed hungover, wearing whatever he went bar hopping in last night, threw on his
gown and strolled off to graduation). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, genius!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His family surely had no problem picking him out.</div>
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<br /></div>
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3. As I was walking down to the Green Room before the ceremony,
I noticed two girls walking in front of me wearing what had to be 5” stilettos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought to myself that every year the heels
seem to get higher and higher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During
the ceremony, a few of my colleagues made the same observation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the stilettos and platform shoes were
so high as to be awe inspiring in a you-know-there’s-going-to-be-an-accident-and-yet-can’t-look-away
kind of way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is one of those few
days in your life when everyone really IS watching you; is it really the day
you want to wind up in a cast from falling off of your own shoes???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The winner of the Most Female Graduates in
Reasonable Footwear award goes to Recreation, Parks, and Tourism Management, in
case you wondered.</div>
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<br /></div>
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4. At the end of the ceremony, during the singing of the
Alma Mater, one of my colleagues nudged me and motioned for me to look behind
me at our students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The entire group of
them was not only singing, but swaying back and forth to the song, arms draped
around each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was an adorable
and touching sight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During the 4<sup>th</sup>
verse, their voices swelled to be heard above the pit band and the thousands of
spectators.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They confirmed what I
suspected at the fall graduation ceremony: that this new enthusiasm for the
words and meaning of their school song has become a new tradition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The refusal of these resilient young men and
women to be cowed or shamed by others and their determination to hold their
heads up to look for solutions to the problems they are confronted with is both
awe inspiring and humbling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have never
been more proud to be a teacher, and I will always be proud to have been their
teacher. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Congratulations, Penn State Class of 2012!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-89893581420784624852012-02-25T19:23:00.000-08:002012-02-25T19:23:01.929-08:00The Hidden Dangers of "Yes"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">For the sixth straight year, Penn State students have persisted in participating in what they call “State Patty’s Day,” an event organized on social media outlets, the sole purpose of which is to provide an excuse for people to wander aimlessly around town for 36 hours straight in a drunken stupor so profound that they appear too brainless and purposeless to even qualify as extras on The Walking Dead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I take that back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It does appear to have one other purpose: to ensure that photographs of people wandering the streets half-dressed and with fewer functioning brain cells than a pureed carrot can survive in perpetuity on the internet for not only future employers, but future grandchildren, to find.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">No, I’m not a fan of this event.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And no, it’s not a “holiday.” Stop calling it that.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Funny thing is, I don’t think many of my students are fans anymore, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last year in a very long, very candid conversation with my graduating seniors, I heard many of them say over and over that the majority of the people who were drunk all day, wandering out into traffic, driving the wrong way on one way streets, and generally causing mayhem, were not PSU students but people from out of town.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The arrest records and emergency response reports bear this out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My response to them was that not one hotel was booked up that weekend (yes, I really did check), so these people who were coming from out of town were staying somewhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That “somewhere” was with people who go to school here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over and over again people told me stories of coming home to find 6-7 guests in their apartments, some people they didn’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suggested that they were the ones with the keys; they could always say no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My students looked at me in horror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Well, that would be kinda rude, wouldn’t it?” one normally very bright young woman asked me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rude?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone you don’t know is crashing in your apartment without your consent, after coming here uninvited and spending the whole weekend drunk and disorderly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think “No, you can’t sleep in the apartment I pay rent for” is the only reasonable, sane response.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This year, in the midst of my yearly pathetic attempt to convince them why participating in this insanity is a bad idea (particularly this year), I heard more than one student complain that out of town guests had invited themselves for the weekend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My students felt compelled not only to allow these people in their apartments, but to make accommodations for them (being home at a certain time to let them in, making bedding available, and even granting specific food requests).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The comments I heard were all variations on the same theme: “This is just a hassle. I wish it would go away.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was dumbfounded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suggested to one young woman that she could just tell these people that it’s a VERY bad time for this and they should not expect to come and stay with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then she was dumbfounded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I don’t want to be rude and say no.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That’s when it struck me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My students were very uncomfortable saying know, even to unreasonable requests from acquaintances, because they didn’t know how to say no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had no model for it because they had heard it so seldom themselves.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">No one likes to say no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s human nature to want to please other people and accommodate requests, but those of us who did not grow up in the “everyone plays, everyone wins” era at least have some model for saying and hearing no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve been told no by parents, teachers, coaches, and directors and survived it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve learned to understand that “no” isn’t fatal and doesn’t have to be mean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By always telling our kids “yes,” we’ve robbed them of that model.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By always giving them what they want, whether it’s the lead in the play, a place on the team, or a car, we’ve taught them not only that hearing “no” is bad, but that saying “no” is worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If no one has ever told them no, it must be really, really terrible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If their parents and teachers avoided it, they probably should, too.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m not suggesting that being able to say no to their friends would prevent any of the bad behavior that goes on here during this annual event, but it might allow them to let it die the natural death it should have fallen to years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Then again, if they had heard "no" more often earlier in life, the whole spectacle of walking around drunk, throwing trash and urinating in people's yards, and stumbling out into traffic, and then demanding shelter from people you hardly know might have struck them from the start as the bad idea it truly is.</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-72880842860599647612011-12-21T10:23:00.000-08:002011-12-21T10:23:17.571-08:00A Few Thousand Special Snowflakes....<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Version>12.00</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">Last week I again had the chance to participate in what is one of my favorite professional duties. It also happens to be one of the most frustrating.<span> </span>Graduation.<span> </span>I love graduation ceremonies and I will admit that I tear up at every single one.<span> </span>What’s not to love?<span> </span>It’s the one day in an academic career when everyone is happy—parents, students, and faculty.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">Since I started teaching, I have had the chance to participate in roughly 18 graduation ceremonies.<span> </span>In all that time, I never seen a ceremony disrupted by a student.<span> </span>This year two students, one male and one female, decided that moment after shaking hands with everyone on stage was the appropriate time for Tebowing.<span> </span>In both cases, their self-conscious silliness was mostly ignored.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This fall’s ceremony was disrupted several times by parents and family members.<span> </span>In every ceremony, the attendees are instructed twice to please hold their applause and cheers until after everyone’s name is called.<span> </span>Families are told that every one present is there to hear the name of one person, and everyone present deserves to be able to hear that one name be read as that student crosses the stage.<span> </span>It shouldn’t require an advanced degree to understand that if you’re blowing an air horn (and it does happen with dismaying frequency), no one is going to be able to hear the name being read at the same time.<span> </span>For the first 50 names, more or less, everyone behaves appropriately.<span> </span>Then one family member decides that their special snowflake is far too special for their family to be held to the same standards as everyone else, so they yell and scream when that snowflake’s name is called.<span> </span>A few minutes will pass and some other family will decide their snowflake is far MORE special, so they yell and scream and clap.<span> </span>Sooner or later, someone breaks out the air horn.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This happens at every ceremony.<span> </span>Most of the time, it’s only half a dozen families or so who think their student is the most special snowflake in the blizzard.<span> </span>Occasionally, it happens frequently enough that the nomenclature or the provost feels compelled to scold the crowd and again ask that they not prevent other families from hearing the name of their student.<span> </span>This time, both the nomenclature and provost had to scold the crowd several times, with increasing irritation.<span> </span>At one point the rest of the crowd was so disgusted with the blatant disregard for the several hundred other graduates that they broke into applause after one scolding.<span> </span>You have to know you’ve really crossed some social boundary when a few thousand people are applauding you being publicly scolded.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This annoys me every year, but it was particularly galling this year.<span> </span>Unless you live under a rock or on a deserted island in the Pacific ocean, you have at least some vague notion of the events that have plagued Penn State this fall.<span> </span>I don’t wish to minimize the trauma to everyone involved by oversimplifying the case, but three men are currently awaiting trial, several more have had their careers either ended or irrevocably disrupted, and an entire community had been turned on its head because at least three people decided the rules did not apply to them.<span> </span>Apparently, and sadly for all of us, some people in the PSU family have not learned from this lesson.<span> </span>You would think that any one in any way connected with the university might be particularly sensitive to playing by the rules, doing the right thing, and looking out for the other people around you.<span> </span>It makes me unspeakably sad and unsettled to discover that it’s largely the parents who chose to do otherwise.<span> </span>We often wonder why it is that so many young people seem to feel that there are no consequences for their behavior and that the rules don’t apply to them.<span> </span>We have no business being shocked by this; they are only following the example they have been taught.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In all fairness, even this fall it was only a small percentage of families who behaved badly.<span> </span>Most smiled and waved quietly as their student crossed the stage and then cheered their hearts out when the last name had been called.<span> </span>After the last student had crossed the stage, several yelled out from various points “WE ARE…”and everyone—administrators, faculty, students, and families thundered back “PENN STATE!”<span> </span>It was a fun and proud moment, but not as proud as the one that came at the end of the ceremony.<span> </span>Just before the administrators and faculty process back out of the hall, the entire crowd is asked to sing the Alma Mater.<span> </span>In most ceremonies, the students begin singing proudly “For the glory of Old State…” and then peter out from there, humming along and leaving the faculty and the alumni in the crowd to carry the song to its end.<span> </span>This year, to my surprise and delight, the students sang with earnest through the first three verses.<span> </span>The real moment of pride, though, came at the beginning of the last verse when the singing from the students swelled considerably.<span>* </span>I hope their families noticed, too, and decide to follow their example.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">*For the non-PSU folks, the last verse begins with these two lines:</div><div class="MsoNormal">"May no act of ours bring shame,</div><div class="MsoNormal">To one heart that loves thy name..." </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-11027407195760394342011-11-09T16:14:00.001-08:002011-11-09T16:16:23.630-08:00Raise the song...and your voiceThis is the time of year when I see a lot of people who have recently decided to change majors for one reason or another. A huge percentage of them tell me they want to go to medical school or to become a physician assistant—both very noble, honorable professions, to be sure. When I ask them what make them want to become doctors, nurses, or PAs, many of them respond with lengthy explanations about how they’ve always loved science and biology in particular, how they had a pediatrician they loved, how a PA helped diagnose their asthma or a nurse took care of a sibling who had been hospitalized, etc. A good many of them, though, give me the same, vague answer: “I want to help people.”<br />
<br />
This is a noble calling, too; don’t get me wrong. I am all in favor of the give-back-pay-it-forward-leave-the-world-better-than-you-found-it philosophy. My problem is with their very, very limited definition of “helping people.”<br />
<br />
As I started writing this a week ago, I intended to write about the many ways in which you can help people outside of medicine. Then I saw a documentary on he replications of the original Stanley Milgram studies on authority. Milgram's original studies brought volunteers into the lab and paired them with "learners" who were really research assistants. The "teachers" were told to give increasing electric shocks to the learners sitting in a remote booth when they made mistakes on the task given. Even when the learners screamed in pain and complained of heart trouble, a lab coated investigator asked the teacher to keep going. Milgram found that the vast majority of people were willing to give what they thought might be dangerous shocks to another human being just because someone told them to. In one version of the replications, teachers came in to the lab in pairs. One of the pair was another research assistant who, in half the cases, was told at one point to refuse to administer any more shocks. When that person refused, far more of the subject teachers were willing to also refuse. One person standing up and saying "No. This is wrong." is all it takes to inspire others to do the same.<br />
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Shortly after watching this special, news broke about Jerry Sandusky's heinous acts and the horrible cover up that ensued at Penn State. The most shocking, and for some of us most heartbreaking, part is that so many people seemed to have had the chance to stand up and say "No. This is wrong," but no one did. People did what they believed they had to, but no one did what they should have. I have no doubt that their failure to do more than they did will haunt Mike McQueary and Joe Paterno until the day they die.<br />
<br />
So here is my charge to all of you, future clinicians or not. Want to help people? It's this simple: Be the one who stands up. Be the voice that says "No. This is wrong. I won't go along with it." Be the one who inspires others to stand up and do the right thing. Be the one who insists that we are all better. Be our pride, not our shame. No matter what you do after that, you will have helped everyone. Not a bad day's work.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-20038082652571341032011-10-19T09:50:00.000-07:002011-10-19T09:50:19.861-07:00Only Your Mother Thinks You're THAT Important...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Version>12.00</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">Jon Stewart, among others, took a few minutes to poke fun at Anderson Cooper when it was demonstrated to him that his Blackberry was contaminated with fecal strep.<span> </span>I wasn’t even a little bit surprised—not because I think Cooper is more unsanitary than the average person; I don’t.<span> </span>In fact, I’d be far more surprised to find out that it was relatively uncommon to find some kind of fecal contamination on most cell phones.<span> </span>My hypothesis is based on using the ladies room at work.<span> </span>Not one day goes by when I don’t encounter someone in the bathroom on their phone.<span> </span>Mostly, because I work at a university and the largest age demographic is between 18-25, they’re texting but many of them are actually carrying on conversations in the bathroom.<span> </span>In the stall.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I can see a logical reason why Anderson Cooper’s phone might make the trek with him to the bathroom.<span> </span>He’s Anderson Cooper.<span> </span>You can probably envision a scenario in which not getting that phone call right NOW might have an impact on his career, or at least the current story he’s working on.<span> </span>It wouldn’t take a great deal of imagination to come up with logical reasons for, say, President Obama, Thomas Freiden (director of the CDC), your local police chief, or maybe even Sarah Palin might need to keep their cell phone handy at ALL times (“What’s that?<span> </span>There’s a pie eating contest in Iowa displaying a cardboard cutout of Mitt Romney and I wasn’t invited???<span> </span>Get everybody on the bus, quick!!”) but the vast majority of us do not fall into that Need to Know NOW category of life.<span> </span>This is almost certainly the case if you are 19.<span> </span>You can wait 5 minutes to get that call or text.<span> </span>It isn’t going anywhere, I promise.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Anything you take with you into the bathroom risks fecal contamination, and it doesn’t have anything (or much, anyway) to do with washing your hands.<span> </span>Every time the toilet is flushed, miniscule droplets are propelled into the air by the force of the water entering the bowl and flushing whatever it finds there down the drain.<span> </span>The force of this water is generally higher in public bathrooms, creating more aerosolized water.<span> </span>That water is contaminated with whatever has been in the toilet bowl recently and if you can’t foresee fecal matter having been in the average toilet, you probably aren’t old enough to be allowed outside the house unsupervised.<span> </span>Or to have a cell phone.<span> </span>It is not in your best interest to take anything you don’t have to into the bathroom stall with you, and this is especially true of anything you repeatedly hold up next to your face throughout the day.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-53994769811381477912011-07-14T09:37:00.000-07:002011-07-14T09:37:21.651-07:00Things not to say…..<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Version>12.00</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">In another week, my Baby Girl and I will be off to her college orientation.<span> </span>In honor of that occasion, and the millions of teenagers just like her who will be embarking on their college careers this fall, I thought it might be helpful to review a list of things that you should never say to your professor/instructor.<span> </span>You might think some of these are painfully obvious.<span> </span>Once upon a time, I did, too.<span> </span>Then I lost count of how many times I heard these things, just in one semester.<span> </span>So here’s my Top 10 List of What Not To Say, Part I.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>1. I wasn’t here on Monday.<span> </span>Did I miss anything?</u></div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m astonished at how this one persists, even though I’m utterly certain that every student has heard admonishments not to say this and the inevitable joke “No, we realized you weren’t here so we all went home” or something to that effect. <span> </span>First of all, it sounds as though you believe that life doesn’t really go on as usual in your absence.<span> </span>It takes a special kind of egocentrism to imagine that everything stops when you decide to go elsewhere—the kind usually only awarded to 3 year olds who are cute enough to pull it off.<span> </span>More importantly, though, <span> </span>the question is a little offensive.<span> </span>It implies that at least some percentage of the time what’s going on in class is useless—and that the instructor is well aware that it’s useless and is just doing it to fill time.<span> </span>You may not see the value of what’s going on in class, but you should at least have the sense to acknowledge that the instructor does.<span> </span>Frankly, we just don’t have the time or energy to waste on thinking up busy work for you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>2. I wasn’t here on Monday.<span> </span>Can you tell me what we did?</u></div><div class="MsoNormal">Better, but still not ok.<span> </span>This assumes that something of some importance went on in your absence, so that’s a step in the right direction.<span> </span>It took 50 minutes for the rest of the class to go through whatever it was that happened on Monday; what makes you think I can distill it down to 2 minutes for you right now before class starts?<span> </span>You might be brighter than everyone else in the room, but I’m guessing you’re not THAT much brighter.<span> </span>If it were possible to cover the material in 2 minutes, that’s what I’d have done on Monday.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>3. My flight leaves on Wednesday afternoon for Spring Break.<span> </span>Is it okay if I’m not here that Friday?</u></div><div class="MsoNormal">The short answer, of course, is sure!<span> </span>Knock yourself out.<span> </span>In Loco Parentis stopped applying the day you got that high school diploma, Snowflake, and I’m not your mom.<span> </span>Also, I don’t pay your tuition. You don’t HAVE to be here any day.<span> </span>You already paid for this class.<span> </span>What you’re <i>really</i> asking is, can I get credit for being here and still go on vacation early, and the answer to that is an emphatic no.<span> </span>Here’s why—the dates for spring break are set years, seriously, years in advance and are published.<span> </span>They’re on the school web site. They’re on your syllabus.<span> </span>They’re plastered all over campus.<span> </span>This is a little like saying to your boss “I’ve used up my vacation days, but I REALLY want to go to Cancun with my friends?<span> </span>Is it ok if I don’t show up for work next week?”<span> </span>The best answer your likely to get here is “Sure.<span> </span>It’ll make payroll that much easier this period if we don’t have to pay you for next week.”<span> </span>The likely answer is “Ok, but if you’re not here next week, don’t bother being here the week after, either.”<span> </span>You get a week off.<span> </span>If you want to take more, that’s up to you, but you’re not going to get special allowances to be able to do it.<span> </span>You’re asking someone else to do more work so you can go play early. That never goes over well.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>4. How much do I have to write?/How many pages does this have to be?</u></div><div class="MsoNormal">Ok, I get that a lot of students ask this question because they’re anxious about doing well and want to make sure they’re putting in the right amount of effort.<span> </span>What this sounds like, though, if you’re on the receiving end is “This assignment is so far beneath me that I need you to tell me the minimum amount of effort I need to put in to get credit before I can move on to really important things.<span> </span>Like who Snookie is sleeping with.”<span> </span>There are a number of students who ask this question who are thinking this very thing (with some variation on the really important thing); you may not be one of them, but you sound like them when you ask this.<span> </span>There are better ways to get the information that you really want: “I’m trying to gauge the level of detail you’d like in our responses. Do you have a maximum page limit for this assignment?”<span> </span>or even “Would you mind looking over a draft of my response so I can get some feedback as to whether or not I’m on the right track?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u>5. I just figured out my grade and it turns out I’m failing, which is a HUGE shock to me because I only missed the first 2 weeks of class and then those three days before break! I swear I’m a really good student and I NEVER do this badly in class.<span> </span>What can I do to get more points in the last 3 days before classes end???</u></div><div class="MsoNormal">Again, there is a short answer to this question and you probably already know what it is: Nothing.<span> </span>You had 14 weeks to prove to me what a great student you are, and you did.<span> </span>What you’re really asking here is that someone else do more work to make up for the fact that you did less than what was expected of you for the last 3 months.<span> </span>If you were truly that conscientious about your grades, I doubt you’d be this shocked, SHOCKED to find out that there’s a failing grade going on here.<span> </span>You’d have already known after the first test and taken steps to correct the problem then.<span> </span>How do I know?<span> </span>Because at least 1 of your classmates did exactly that.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I do occasionally hear this request for special extra credit from students who are doing very well in the class and want to create a buffer to be sure they get the highest grade attainable.<span> </span>My response to them is that I don’t report total points or even percentages when I turn in grades. The registrar asks for your assigned letter grade—that’s all.<span> </span>No one will ever know that you got a 99% instead of 105%.<span> </span>Honest. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-19622407037094933422011-04-21T12:11:00.000-07:002011-04-21T12:14:03.777-07:00I Know Where You Went Last Week...<div class="MsoNormal">This morning, every morning news show (at least every one that’s ever on in our house, which is most of them since my ADD afflicted husband can’t leave the tv on one station for more than 2 minutes) was screaming about the news that iPhones and 3G enabled iPads collect and record data tracking your whereabouts as you schlep them around town. This is apparently a crisis even bigger than the narrowly averted government shut down that would have put thousands of people out of work indefinitely. Who knew? Ok, so your iPhone/iPad is collecting data on where you are and storing it on your device/synced computer. Here's why this is a strange thing to panic about: </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1) It's on YOUR computer--as in the one you own-- and the little gadget you’re carrying around in your own hand. Let’s start with the gadget. These things are not cheap, so unless you have the common sense of cottage cheese, you’re probably pretty careful about where you leave it lying around. This necessarily limits the number of people who are going to access the information on it. They’re also very small and light (read: MOBILE), which is likely part of the reason you bought it; meaning you’re probably keeping it pretty close to you most of the time. As for the computer to which it syncs, you probably have way more sensitive info on there, anyway. If you’re the kind of person who only uses your computer for word processing, you’re probably not the kind of person who buys an iPad/iPhone. It’s much more likely that you use your computer for EVERYTHING—taxes, budgeting, personal contacts, stocks, shopping, record keeping…. Hopefully you've taken steps to secure all of your information already. If not, you've got bigger problems than someone knowing you were at Banana Republic yesterday. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">2) Where you've been is public information by virtue of the fact that OTHER PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU! Unless you're the Invisible Man, someone else already knows you stopped at Starbucks on your way to work. Lots of someones. This is the whole reason private detectives can make a living; they can see you to follow you around and report on where you’ve been. There is no implication of privacy when you’re out in public. The fact that you’re in public is not classified information. Even your home address is public information in most cases, unless you’re completely off the grid…in which case, you’re almost certainly not in possession of an iPad. Although I would certainly expect some amount of privacy in my own home, the fact that I am home is still not a state secret. My neighbors and anyone who walks by can probably figure out that I’m home from the fact that my car is in the driveway and the lights are on. Some of them probably saw me pull in and walk in the door. This is especially true if you live in my mother's neighborhood.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">3) If you’re the kind of person who owns an iPad, you probably also have a cell phone, and maybe even a GPS. If you own an iPhone, well, I hate to break this to you if you didn’t already know it, but you own a cell phone. Cell phone companies already track your whereabouts while your cell phone is on (and not to belabor the point, but if you carry an i-gizzmo, you’re not likely to be the sort of person who only turns their phone on in an emergency). The only difference here is that they have the info, not you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">4) This is not a chip that’s been implanted in your head without your knowledge. It’s a hand held device, with no discernible means of locomotion on its own. In other words, you don’t have to take it with you. You can, in theory, leave it behind. If you don’t want it to know where you’ve been, don’t take it along. There are no recorded cases of i-withdrawal being fatal. I promise.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">5) This is perhaps the oddest point. Folks who use iPads and iPhones are usually the same ones using the internet. A lot. Otherwise, there’s not much reason for you to have one of these gadgets. You’re probably also on Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare (which, btw, is simply a means of letting other people know WHERE YOU ARE), MySpace, etc. It seems incongruous to log the details of your fight with your son, what you had for dinner last night, where you grocery shop, which team you’re currently rooting for, and your thoughts on, well, everything, but want to keep the fact that you went to work on Thursday a secret. I’m not sure I follow the logic there. If you’re already sharing many of the intimate details of your life, why are you worried that your iPhone knows you went to McDonald’s last weekend?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"> I got to see a remarkable thing the other night.<span> </span>A crowd of roughly 2500 people, mostly university students, give a standing ovation to an astrophysicist.<span> </span>That his presentation was worthy of a standing ovation is not so remarkable; this is a brilliant, articulate, charismatic man giving a talk on things that are important and interesting to him.<span> </span>What was remarkable to me was that it was the students in the crowd who were the first to jump to their feet when his presentation was over.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This is remarkable to me because I teach and advise students in a science field that is not a “basic” science or traditional science field.<span> </span>Because of this, I am often meeting with students who are fleeing a traditional science curriculum or a basic science major.<span> </span>Most of them are intent on going to medical school, and I have come to recognize that there are two broad types of students who come to meet with me: those who are looking for more, and those who are looking for less.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The ones who are looking for more are the ones who have discovered that their field of study is not satisfying some desire for knowledge they sense is important to where they want to go.<span> </span>They feel like something is missing from what they’re studying and they’ve gone in search of another program that might fill that gap.<span> </span>These are the students who intuitively get what our program is about and they are a joy to work with.<span> </span>They also are, thankfully, the majority of the students I work with.<span> </span>Most of my conversations with them go roughly along the same lines as the encounter I had recently with a lovely young woman who wanted out of her biology major.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Lovely young woman (dressed in pink, of course!): I was in bio, 'cause I wanted to go to med school, but I want to change majors, but I can't get into this class which I know I need and I'm freaking out because I'm not going to get the classes I need to graduate.<br />
<br />
Me: What semester are you?<br />
<br />
LYW: 1st (it's always the 1st semester students who are convinced that they won't graduate!)<br />
<br />
Me: Ok, well, why do you want to change from Bio?<br />
<br />
LYW: I hate plants.<br />
<br />
Me (laughing): Fair enough.<br />
<br />
LYW: Well, I can still take all the med school requirements in this major and not have to take the bio classes on plant cells and whatnot and I REALLY hate plants and instead I can take psych and stuff that, you know, has to do with people. Right?<br />
<br />
Me: yes, you can take the med school entrance requirements in any major, and yes, we're more about people than plants.<br />
<br />
LYW: So, how can I get into this class?<br />
<br />
Me: Well...(long uninteresting schpiel about why she really can't this semester)...but the bottom line is that if you take it in the fall, you will NOT be behind.<br />
<br />
LYW: Really? Cool! Ok, so what should I take then?<br />
<br />
Me: Here's what I would suggest...(blah blah blah) ...Psych 212 will fulfill this requirement...<br />
<br />
LYW: I LOVE psych!<br />
<br />
Me: That's good; 'cause you're going to see a lot of it. You can also take this stat class. There are still seats and it fulfills the stat requirement.<br />
<br />
LYW: Really? SO cool! Wow, you saved me! I feel much better!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">I should point out that they are not all quite this enthusiastic, but many of them are.<span> </span>I should also point out that in reality I did nothing but point out information this bright young woman could easily have found on her own, but for the panic about not graduating on time.<span> </span>The number of bio majors who come and tell me they hate plants is astonishing. I’m not sure where this animosity towards creatures that can neither interrupt you during conversations nor cut you off in traffic comes from. <span> </span>When I point out to them that there is some basic level of knowledge and skill needed to progress to the upper level biology courses that they will need to be doctors, a few of them have responded that they appreciate that but don’t understand why that basic level of knowledge about the workings of cells can’t be taught using humans, or at least animals, as the platform.<span> </span>I confess, I don’t have a good answer for them.<span> </span>Or rather, I do, but my daughter has pointed out to me that my musings on the history of science and the influence of the church and its prohibition on the study of human cadavers on the field of biology is of little interest to people who aren’t me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">The students who come looking for less are far more frustrating and complicated.<span> </span>These are the students who have either come to the conclusion on their own or been told by someone else, that if they change their major from a traditional premed program, it will somehow be easier to get into medical school.<span> </span>Unfortunately, it isn’t the plant biology they are hoping to avoid, but usually chemistry and math.<span> </span>My conversations with them typically go something more like this:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">New Advisee: So, I’m thinking about changing majors from biology ‘cause I’m going to medical school and I can’t do the classes in bio.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: Ok, well…if you don’t like biology, you probably aren’t going to be very happy in medical school.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA: I do ok in bio, it’s just the chem and the math I can’t do.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: Hmm…well, let’s think about some options for you.<span> </span>Tell me why you decided you want to be a doctor.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA: I just do.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: Ok, but why? What do you like about the idea of being a doctor?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA: I just wanna, you know, help people. And do something in health.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: There are a lot of careers in health that would allow you to work with people and do something that would be helping them without going to medical school…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA: I’m going to medical school.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: that may be true, but I think we should talk about some alternate plans for you and see if there might be a career that appeals to you that might not necessitate going to medical school.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA: No.<span> </span>I’m going to med school.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: Ok, well then you’re going to need to take 2 semesters of inorganic chemistry and 2 semesters of organic…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA: See, that’s why I’m changing out of bio.<span> </span>I can’t do that much chemistry.<span> </span>It says on the academic plan that I don’t need all that chemistry.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: You don’t to graduate, but you will for medical school.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA: I can’t take all those chemistrys.<span> </span>I can’t do chemistry.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">At this point, I know very well that the best thing for both of us would be for me to look her dead in the eye and respond like this:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: (in my fantasy conversation) Look, here’s the deal.<span> </span>No one in last 90 years has gone to medical school without taking chemistry.<span> </span>You will not be the first.<span> </span>You have two choices here: pass chemistry or choose another option.<span> </span>You’re telling me choice #1 isn’t working for you, so I’m trying to help you with choice #2.<span> </span>You are welcome to continue with your degree and apply to medical school without the additional semesters of chemistry; you will only be wasting your own time and money.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">It isn’t always chemistry that’s the problem; sometimes this conversation is about calculus or math in general.<span> </span>I’m more sympathetic to these students who truly don’t see the connection between math and medicine, mostly because they haven’t thought much about it.<span> </span>Occasionally, though, I have a student come in who has a problem with biology. These are the students who utterly mystify me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">New Advisee 2: I want to change out of biology but I still want to go to medical school.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: Ok, what brings you here?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA2:<span> </span>I hate biology.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: (brief pause while I ponder this, blinking) You do realize that you’re still going to have to take a substantial amount of biology in this major, right?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA2: Well yeah.<span> </span>I mean, I can take a few classes if I have to…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: Well, passing the required bio classes will get you your degree, but once you get to medical school it’s going to be a lot more bio…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA2: Well it’ll be different in medical school.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: How so?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA2: ‘Cause then it will be doing what I want to do.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: (fantasy conversation in my head) Exactly what magical transformation do you believe is going to take place so that, on the day you are admitted into medical school, the heavens will part and the angels will sing and suddenly biology will be more fun than playing Farmville?<span> </span>I have to tell you that I have known a lot of students who have gone on to medical school and this has not been the experience of any single one of them.<span> </span>You might be the first, but I’m not sure I would stake the next 8 years of your life on it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: (out loud) I think if you really dislike biology, you’re going to be very unhappy in a major with bio in the title, and that’s probably going to be reflected in your GPA, so let’s talk about some options that might be better suited to you.<span> </span>What classes have been your favorite so far?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA2: I really loved my econ classes.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">Me: Ok, good.<span> </span>So maybe you might want to consider a major in economics…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">NA2: But I’m going to medical school.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6pt;">At this point I’m reminded of a quote from Steven Wright: “Anywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.”</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-70774276078267414102011-03-12T05:24:00.001-08:002011-03-12T05:26:44.933-08:00Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Dirty Hands and Peanut Butter Crackers?<div class="MsoNormal">An elementary school in Florida has implemented a series of minor classroom policies to help protect a 6 year old girl in a first grade class who has a severe peanut allergy. Peanut allergies, unlike many other allergies, can cause asphyxiation. Meaning a 6 year old could die (yes, die) from the particulates and oils from peanut products including peanut butter. We’re not talking about a tummy ache here. In that light, the policies of the school district seem almost laughably fair—no food in the classroom, students must wash their hands and rinse their mouths twice a day, and the surfaces in the room are wiped down with Clorox wipes. Some other parents in this district heard that their own kids might be forced to wash their hands as much as twice—Twice!—a day and went completely berserk. They picketed the school with signs informing the elementary school principal that their children were “special too” (‘cause really, this is a message we never hear in elementary schools these days—that every child is special) and encouraging other parents to demand their children’s rights.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Now, I’ve read the constitution (because I had one of those lazy, slacker teachers who wanted to be paid his exorbitant salary while not doing any work, so he made us read something someone else had written!) and nowhere in it is there a guaranteed right to have peanut butter sandwiches for lunch or food of any kind in the classroom. Yes, I know what you’re going to say…implied rights and all that…but I still can’t seem to get from freedom of assembly and protection from unlawful search and seizure to peanut butter or Little Debbie snack cakes. Maybe I’m missing something. Nor have I found anything about freedom from cleanliness, which would cover the hand washing and Clorox wipes.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let me set aside, for a moment, the fact that these parents (to be fair, most of them mothers)are upset that their children are being inconvenienced in the name of protecting another child’s life. Has it not occurred to any single one of these parents that these policies are not only minor inconveniences, but that they might have some positive effect on the health of their own children? There was a time not very long ago when we never allowed food in the classroom—not because of allergies, but because it was unsanitary. Allowing kids to have food in the classroom and inadvertently teaching them that it was important to be eating at any moment they weren’t actively doing something else may very well have contributed to the current obesity problem we face. The prevalence of obesity in this age group is approximately 20%. None of these children will starve if they aren’t allowed to have pretzels and fruit punch during a Valentine party in their classroom. They’re in the first grade; if these screaming moms hadn’t pointed it out with a neon sign, they wouldn’t have known it was strange NOT to have food in the classroom. The CDC has done everything but send people to personally knock on our doors to plead with us to wash our hands several times a day to prevent the spread of the flu. In an elementary classroom, even infrequent hand washing (and let’s face it, for 6 year olds, twice a day is infrequent to the point of absurdity) can help prevent the spread of not only the flu but colds, strep, and a number of other bacterial and viral illnesses. Likewise, wiping down frequently touched surfaces is also an effective method of stemming the spread of viral and bacterial illness. Do these folks think their kids have a right to be sick? Personally, if the teacher had only insisted my daughter wash her hands twice a day when she was in elementary school, I think that might have prompted a conversation with the school personnel. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So even if you’re selfish enough to be outraged that your kid is being asked to make some adjustments to their day to accommodate another child’s well being, you might at least acknowledge that these adjustments actually work in your child’s favor. And we really are talking about selfishness here. I hear people complain quite often about the sense of entitlement and level of self absorption among teenagers and college students. If that’s true, and I’m not entirely convinced that it is uniformly true, doesn’t it stand to reason that they learned such behavior from being taught that they should never have to accommodate anyone else’s needs and never be inconvenienced in any way no matter what the cause? To scream that my child is being picked on because he’s not allowed to bring snacks to school and has to wash his hands, is more than a little like saying “I’m in a hurry; why should I have to stop just because the school bus is letting kids on and off? Shouldn’t you people teach your kids not to walk out in front of cars?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Maybe I shouldn’t give them any ideas.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-88683613170436729652011-03-10T19:39:00.000-08:002011-03-10T19:39:13.765-08:00Toddler BenchmarkMy New Year's Resolution this year was to not accept any behavior from students that I would not accept from my own children. This doesn't seem like it should be a very high bar to reach, given that my youngest child is not yet 2, but you'd be surprised. Or maybe you wouldn't. My sisters, Real World Skipper and Stacy, tell me horror stories about colleagues and subordinates who think "I lost track of time." is a legitimate reason for a 3 hour coffee break or that sharing the gory details of your last vodka binge with a virtual stranger is an appropriate work behavior. So now I am on a quest: to do my best to make sure that the young people who pass through my door are at least marginally prepared to go out into the world and, if nothing more, pretend to be grown ups (which in reality is what most of us are doing anyway--pretending).<br />
<br />
My first battle in this war has been over cell phones. Now don't get me wrong; I love my phone. Well no, I love the concept of having a cell phone, but I'm not particularly enamored with my current model. That's not relevant. The point is, I have no objection to the concept of a cell phone. What I do object to is having to send messages like the following:<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Just a reminder that cell phones/smartphones/</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><wbr></wbr></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Blackberries should be turned off during class time. Midge (obviously not the TA's real name) and I have both received emails sent from a student's Blackberry during class time this semester, something that is not an appropriate use of classroom time. From now on, emails sent during class will not receive a response. If you have a question or problem related to class material or an assignment, please ask during class or speak to us afterward, otherwise please wait until after class to send emails.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">What is troubling is that I'm not sure whether it bothers me more that this student was obviously way too busy texting during class to bother stopping to ask her question in real time, or that it did not occur to her that the message was going to come in stamped with both the time it was sent and the ubiquitous "Sent from my Blackberry" signature.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">Then there was the conversation I had with an otherwise very bright young woman after I asked her to put her phone away during class. She came up after class was over to apologize for texting during class and then added "but I was really angry about something and I couldn't stand it, so I HAD to get it out," which left me wondering what would have happened if she hadn't had a cell phone handy. Would she have exploded? Would she have suddenly jumped out of her seat during class and begun screaming about whatever made her so angry? Probably neither. She would probably have come to class, complained to the friends sitting around her briefly, and then either seethed about it during class or been distracted by work and forgotten about it until she left. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">And THIS is what it is that bothers me about cell phones--confusing immediate with imperative. Just because you CAN broadcast every thought that wanders through your head at the nanosecond that it does, does not mean you have to. Just because you don't have to wait to transmit whatever it is you've just now thought of, doesn't mean you shouldn't. The idea that my phone is ringing, I MUST ANSWER IT NOW baffles me. Human ingenuity invented answering machines for land line phones to avoid this very idea! Your phone and mine and pretty much every other cell phone traveling around in someone's pocket or bag came with this very cool feature. If you don't answer it, a very nice lady will answer on your behalf and tell the person calling that you are unavailable and will record whatever it is they have to say for you to listen to at some more convenient time. Preferably a time when you are not sitting in class, taking an exam, driving down the interstate, checking out at the grocery store, or sitting at the dinner table with your family. And texting is even better, because there is no middle man (so to speak). The message goes right to your phone and there it sits, patiently waiting for you until you get around to reading it, again, preferably not at any of the aforementioned times. Honest. I swear. They do not have expiration dates. I know this because I have text messages left in my inbox from 3 years ago, and they're still sitting there waiting to see what I will ultimately do with them. They've go nowhere else to go.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">Perhaps I should have mentioned all of this to the young woman who was called into my office to meet with me after she plagiarized not one but two papers and skipped two exams in class. When she showed up in my office, a minor miracle in and of itself given her difficulty in making it to the classroom, she waltzed in and sat down while she was talking on her phone. I instructed her to please go back outside and finish her call before coming in to meet with me. She stood up, sighed, rolled her eyes, walked just outside the door and while looking at me said "I gotta go, Babe. She's making me hang up the phone." I considered telling her I was not making her do anything; she was welcome to go elsewhere and carry on her conversation. I also considered yanking the phone out of her hand and tossing it out the office window. In the end I did neither, because I recognized that someone who feels put out by being given the chance to salvage their college career after plagiarizing two papers and skipping multiple exams is well beyond the aid of voicemail.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-37092204254946852212011-03-10T19:36:00.000-08:002011-03-10T19:48:41.071-08:00Money For Nothing?<div class="MsoNormal"> The Dire Straits recorded "Money For Nothing" in 1985 in response to listening to a guy working in an appliance store complain about how musicians did virtually nothing and got paid a fortune. I have to wonder if perhaps the song was playing in the background on some oldies station when Governor Corbett sat down to write up his budget proposal. Three weeks after Wisconsin governor Scott Walker took his bizarre balance the budget by punishing teachers and nurses stance, setting off a history making public uprising in the state capitol, Governor Corbett apparently decided it wasn’t fair that he was getting all the attention. His budget proposal cuts state funding to primary and secondary schools by 10% and appropriations to the 18 state run and land grant universities by 50%. Governor Corbett’s budge would cut funding for programs that are designed to keep class sizes in primary grades (K-3) small in poorer schools—‘cause a poverty stricken rural or urban school is where you really want a class of 40 first graders. He has also proposed changing laws to prevent local school districts from raising local or property taxes in order to make up for any difference in funding; a proposal directly “borrowed” from Governor Walker. Apparently Mr. Corbett may have a genuine complaint with his own public school, as they clearly did not teach him that plagiarism is bad.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ve got plenty to say about Mr. Corbett’s ideas for education and what I think of them, but they’ll keep. After all, he’s not going anywhere for four long years. I doubt very, very much that he’s got the chops to be tapped for anything bigger and better as was former governor Tom Ridge, so I’m afraid we’re stuck with him. My more pressing question has to do with what seems to be the pervasive belief among Republican governors and employees of Fox News that teachers are grossly overpaid for what one Fox News talking head called “a part time job.” Their stand is that teachers work only those hours when they are in class, and assume that teachers enter the building roughly 5 minutes before homeroom begins and leave 5 minutes after the last bus leaves, and do nothing but sunbathe from June through August. It’s clear from their accusations that the last school teacher any of these folks has ever met was in the twelfth grade. Nor have they ever met a college student.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Wait, a college kid? What would a college kid have to do with how much a school teacher works or gets paid? College students tend to fall into two camps with respect to choosing their majors and future professions. The first group are enormously practical and choose a major based on what talents they believe (or often their parents believe) they have and how they can turn those talents into a paycheck. These kids have a very clear vision of what college is costing them, what loans they will have to pay back, and what the best route to making enough money to be able to meet those loans and still eat more than Ramen noodles. These are the students who come to me and want to know not only what jobs they can get with their degree, but what other training they might need to get that job, what does it pay, and how hard is it to get the job. These kids are making very adult, practical decisions. The second group is made up of the ones driven by passion. They are the ones who come to me to tell me they’ve chosen their major because they want to help people. They tell me all the things that are wrong in the world and how, exactly, they intend to fix them. They never ask about additional training (although they usually know what’s required) and they never ask about salary. They are under no illusions about what that salary is likely to be. Guess which group the future teachers tend to belong to.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Has it never occurred to any of the people screaming for the heads of teachers, that a profession where people get paid a fortune for very little work should be one that’s EXTREMELY popular? In many universities, including mine, some programs in engineering, nursing, and business are so popular the competition for the few slots available in the program every year is phenomenal. Why are these programs so popular? Because there is the widespread perception among students and their parents that these are areas where very good paying jobs are plentiful. Even in nursing, where no one would argue that the job is easy, the widespread media coverage of a nursing shortage in this country has created a mindset where students believe they at least will be guaranteed to get a good paying job immediately after graduation. Dozens of my students are desperately trying to figure out a way to get one of those coveted seats in a nursing program for a shot at a good paying job that requires long hours and hard work. How many do you think would be lined up for a job where they would make a lot of money for short hours, two and half months of vacation, and very little work? If they believed that, they’d be lined up around the block trying to become teachers. They’re not.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Teach for America is a program that seeks to place successful college graduates, particularly in math and science fields, into disadvantaged urban and rural areas where graduation rates are typically low. ToA trains these graduates in education methods and theory, get them temporary certification to teach in the state of their placement, and places them in a school that desperately needs them to teach for two years. After two years, the students have the option of getting permanently certified to be teachers or move on to whatever else they’ve decided to do. Teachers in the program are paid the same salary as other beginning teachers in that district, but also receive program benefits such as loan forbearance/forgiveness as incentives for graduates to join the program. Every semester, a representative from ToA asks to come to my upper level classes to beg students to consider applying to the program. Ask yourself this: why does a profession whose members are grossly overpaid for very little work need a recruitment program and incentives to join for only two years? It has never once been my experience that the Actors’ Guild, the NFL, or any recording company ever asked to come to my class to beg my students to consider being performers or athletes for two years. Despite the fact that many of my students are interested in medicine, never once has a representative from the AMA asked to come and recruit students into the field. They don’t have to. My students are not stupid and they know a good deal when they hear one. Teaching may be a good many things as a profession, but given what it’s costing most of these kids to get through college (and it will only cost them more now in PA), it is not a good financial deal.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> I had a teacher once in middle school who taught me that if it waddles like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s very unlikely that you’re looking at an elephant. A job that people have to be begged to join, where you're more likely to drive a Camry than a Mercedes, probably isn't the one where you get "Money for Nothing." It’s a shame Governor Corbett and Governor Walker apparently never had such teachers. They might recognize what a “resource” a good education really is.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5823766048026454341.post-18626829626561013692011-02-25T14:45:00.000-08:002011-03-10T19:38:15.681-08:00Transparency and Textbooks (or The Real Reason Your Major Matters)<div class="MsoNormal">A provision in the Higher Education Opportunity Act requires colleges and universities that receive federal aid to disclose what textbooks are required for each class and the standard retail price of that textbook on our electronic schedule of courses and on the course syllabi. Eliminating the step of looking at the required textbook on the course syllabus or book list at the bookstore, and then looking up the price is somehow supposed to make college more affordable. Don’t get me wrong; I like the spirit of this provision, but I’m not at all certain of what the outcome is supposed to be. If the goal is to force me to require a reasonably priced textbook for class, I’m not at all sure this provision can accomplish that. For one thing, forcing me to choose a text immediately after being assigned to teach a course, means that I have very little time to review textbooks and consult with colleagues and select the most reasonably priced book that will serve the needs of my students. It means that an instructor is more likely to choose a book that another instructor has used in the past or the first one that comes to my attention (often through publishers’ advertisements) that looks as though it will do the job. I can spend a few weeks and hunt down a good $60 text (assuming one exists), or I can choose the $100 one that the publisher just sent me a flyer advertising. Requiring that this information be posted with the schedule of courses as soon as that schedule is posted does nothing to ensure that the best, most reasonably priced materials are selected. In fact, it nearly ensures that a more costly text will be chosen.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The second problem with posting this information on the schedule of courses is that there seems to be an underlying assumption here that students can shop for their course work based on how much it will cost them to take a particular class. So the idea is that my students sign on to the schedule or courses, look at the required class and decide “A hundred dollars for the text? I don’t think so,” and change their major to pottery? It’s possible that for the few general education classes where the students have a broad range of options for class, they might choose not to take the architecture class with a book that costs $120 and instead opt for the sociology course with a text that only costs $75. That could happen, and I supposed it’s no worse a means of selecting a course than ratemyprofessor.com, but if you’re going to major in chemistry, you’re going to have to take some chemistry classes. I suspect the chem department has some specific ones in mind and I’m sure they all require expensive texts. Knowing the book costs $150 won’t get you out of introductory inorganic chem., nor will it make it any less expensive or painful.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That brings me to another problem with this regulation. Knowing that the text for one course is expensive, doesn’t really tell you much at all about the cost of the class. My younger sister, Skipper, was a science major. I, because I really have very little grasp on reality much of the time, minored in arts and humanities. We used to argue over who had to pay more for textbooks. One book would routinely cost her $150. One of mine would routinely run between $9 and $15. Problem was, any given humanities course required at least 8 books, while that $150 book of my sister’s was the same text for at least 2 classes. We sat down and figured it out one semester (because we’re both dorks. It’s genetic. I have a textbook that says so.) and within about $5, we were spending the same amount of money on textbooks. My stat textbook in graduate school cost $160. I never considered not taking the analysis of variance class for which I bought the book, regardless of the cost, because it was a skill I needed for my career. That book was also the text for a regression analysis course and a multivariate analysis course, making the textbook cost per class about $53. Having the cost of that book on the syllabus would not have given me that insight.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The stated purpose of this requirement is to make the cost of college more “transparent.” It reminds me of one of my all time favorite movie lines from <i>The Princess Bride</i>: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it does.” I’m not sure the person who wrote this legislation knew what they meant by transparency, because stating the cost of the textbook on the syllabus or even the schedule of courses doesn’t gain you transparency. Students could always access that information before they signed up for a class by simply going to the bookstore and poking around for a few minutes, or more directly, ask the professor who usually teaches the course. Requiring me to tell my students what the book costs gives them no more information than they would have had before, and doesn’t make the cost any more transparent. It does no good unless the textbook companies are required to explain why textbooks cost as much as they do. To be fair, one provision of the HEOA does require textbook companies to provide information on the expected cost of the text and the copyright dates of the last three editions of the text to prospective instructors. I have occasionally seen the prices listed (a step in the right direction) but I have yet to see a publisher volunteer the copyright dates of previous editions. Why is this important? Because publishers often put out new editions of textbooks for reasons that aren’t really related to updating old information. Sometimes it’s because they want to include a new author whom they expect will be writing future editions or other texts. Sometimes it’s to include new technology (a new DVD, tie ins to Facebook and Twitter, etc.). Sometimes it’s for something as mundane as updating the graphics or illustrations in the book. Each new edition is typically more expensive than the older edition, and once a new edition is out, it’s often difficult to purchase large quantities of the old edition. Students who wish to “sell back” their textbooks at the end of a semester often find that they are unable to sell back books for which there is a newer edition, or if they can, they are paid virtually nothing for it.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I would love to see textbook prices become more affordable. Many of my students come from working class families and I feel a strong responsibility towards them and their education. I know that many of them do not buy the books that they feel they can get by without because of the cost. I try very hard to make sure that I am selecting a textbook for my classes that I believe is reasonably priced and useful for my students, and I believe that most of my colleagues do the same. This bizarre regulation seems mostly to be designed to make someone feel as though they’ve taken a stab at a serious problem and at the same time lined up a suitable scapegoat to blame when the problem mysteriously continues.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00982164216452159790noreply@blogger.com0